Want.

This is silly and naive. But this is real and this is the result of my romanticized outlook on pain:
I want to hear your text tone.
I want to see "Loser" pop up on my Snapchat feed.
I want to spend the night at your house after the tournament, per usual. Just cuddle up and watch a movie or binge eat with your friends or just sit their while you watch woodworking videos.... anything to be closer to you.
I want to kiss you before every class.
I want to look for your car during lunch.
I want to see your face every morning.
I want to wrap my arms around you when I'm sad: like right now.
I want you to force me to eat when I'm like this because you worry about me.
I want to bring you body wash in the shower when you run out.
I want to give you an arousing simple surprise.
I want to use your toothbrush in the morning.
I want to kiss you so hard you'll never be able to forget it.
I want to lay in bed doing homework with you.
I want to hold your hand when it's chilly outside.
I want you to tell me I'm beautiful when I feel like shit.
I want to sit in a passenger seat with your hand on my thigh.
I want you to tell me you're proud of me no matter how well I did at anything.
I want to wear your sweater because it's cold out.
I want to catch up on MasterChef Junior with you.
I want to watch Kill Bill 2 with you since we just watched the first.
I want to experience every first I ever have watching Pulp Fiction with you.
I want to spoon with you when I wake up.
I want to get in arguments with you until I scream or laugh or cry because I know that passion will be consuming the room.
I want to make fun of you for how many trophies you have and spend the next thirty minutes stroking your ego in return.
I want you to annoy the shit out of me.
I want you to make me sob.
I want you to make me cuss out at you out of pure frustration.
I want you to hold me in your arms and whisper "Shhhhhh" in my ears when I'm crying.
I want you to tell me "Deep breaths, babe" when I can't calm my anxiety.
I want you to randomly text me I love you.
I want you to tell me I love you every morning, before every class, when you go to sleep at night, after I do something kind, before we kiss, when you look into my eyes, after you mock me, just because.
I want to make you keep loving me.
I want to play ping pong with you even if I dread it.
I want to go on magical adventures with you.
I want you to ask me to prom.
I want to spend the entire Summer together.
I want to go to college together.
I want to get engaged with glow sticks.
I want to get married one day to those beautiful blue eyes and that crazy, intelligent, fierce, loving man.
I want you.
I want you to want me, too.